Beer Haiku Friday and Diddly Dee (Potatoes) - The Saint Patricks Day Post

Today's Beer Haiku is for those who perhaps "over-drowned the shamrocks" on Saint Patrick's Day. It is called "Ouch":

Can someone please stop
All the frickin’ leprechauns
Dancing in my skull

Unsurprisingly, Paddy's Day is also the theme over at the Malthouse blog where I examine invented Irish connections, why nobody pretends to be Australian, share Pete Brown's take on our love affair with the Emerald Isle and finish with a quick look at Murphy's Stout. The title "Diddly Dee (Potatoes)" is explained in the article:

It is perhaps ironic that the English celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day more than they do Saint George’s Day. Certainly, here in New Zealand, Paddy’s Day parties tend to be better attended and more fun than the corresponding Waitangi Day shindigs. People will happily invent a mythical great-aunt from County Cork for March 17 but no-one seem to make up a great-uncle from Wagga Wagga as an excuse to celebrate Australia Day.

Glass Tips - Those excellent imbibers at Beer Haiku Daily and the most excellent peeps at Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Awards That Actually Matter

Today's beer haiku will outrage the purists but I like it. It is called "Because I Can":

A bucket of wings
And some expensive cheap beer
Just because I can

Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post discusses bar service, Evelyn Waugh's seven requirements of a good inn-keeper, assesses Malthouse's Colin Mallon against those seven criteria, looks at the Capital Awards and highlights three coming events. In a unsubtle dig at the Oscars, it is called "Awards That Actually Matter":

Many would have expected Malthouse to also do well in the ‘best beer list’ category – except there wasn’t one. There was a ‘best wine list’ and ‘best drinks list’ but beer was a glaring omission. Fortunately, the flame-haired perpetrator has been quickly identified and given a stern talking to over a Tuatara Ardennes. Hopefully, it will be a proper category next year.

Glass Tips - Those determined tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the multi-award nomination folks at Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and The Beer of Revenge

Today's Beer Haiku Friday proves that President Obama has a hard side. Obama loses his bet with the Canadian leader over the Ice Hockey so he has to buy a pack of beer. Look which beer he picks in "The President Pays Up":

The president pays
Up on his Olympic bet.
A case of Molson

Brutal!

The latest Malthouse blog looks at beer legends, Louis Pasteur, his love of yeast and hatred of Prussians, Croucher Cherry Bock and some big up-coming events. It is called "The Beer of Revenge":

“Pasteur is one of the greatest names in science, but this doesn’t mean he was necessarily a very nice person. What particularly got Pasteur hot under the collar was Prussia and all things German… His abhorrence of all things Prussian took two visible forms. First, he insisted that every paper he published would contain the statement “Hatred towards Prussia! Revenge! Revenge!” which must have proved difficult for peer reviewers, but had little real impact. But the second form changed beer as we know it."

Glass Tips - Those excellent fellows at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Barrels of Beer

Today's much-anticipated Beer Haiku Friday describes a beer drinkers paradise. It is called "Variety":

Dreaming of a place
Where they serve an endless stream
Of various beers

Speaking of beer drinkers paradises*, the latest Malthouse blog looks at the development of barrel-aged beers, talks to three New Zealand brewers who are doing it and profiles the new Moa Barrel Reserve range. The blog is called "Barrels of Beer":

Epic Journey, two 20-litre barrels of Epic Armageddon which spent six weeks on the Interisland Ferry, were a big hit at Beervana 2009. Their Impish Brewer Luke Nicholas predicts we will see a lot more barrels in use at Beervana 2010. He is a bit of a convert to barrel-aging saying it was “fun and really changed the beer in a way I didn’t expect. It was interesting but also a bit scary and creepy leaving it to the wood. You don’t have that control and there are a lot of unknowns.”

* See what I did there?

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and What's in a Name - Sprig and Fern

Today's Beer Haiku sums up the joy of fishing. It is called "Gone Fishin'":

the fish ain’t biting
but that’s not really the point
as long as there’s beer

The latest Malthouse blog has a look at the history of pub signs, the development of pub names, some great names and some terrible names, the Sprig and Fern, Pale Ale and Cider. The title is "What's in a Name - Sprig and Fern":

Clearly, it is very common for a pub name to be called “The [something] and [something else].” Those two words might be related (The Bull and Bear), random (The Parrot and Jigger) or complete opposites (The Jolly Taxpayer). Today’s featured brewery has used this age old technique.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday - Reward

Today's Beer Haiku is very post-modern. It is called "Reward":

Taking some time out
To give myself a reward
‘Cuz no one else will

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday, Belgian Beers and Tintin (or is it Asterix?)

I could not resist adding in what I consider to be the best beer-themed Haiku about the recent State of the Union address. For local readers, a tall boy is a large container of beer. The poem is called "Dashing my hops":

State of the Union
Flung my tallboy at the screen
Hops spring eternal

The latest Malthouse blog is about Belgian beers and Tintin. It replaces the earlier version which utilised Asterix who unfortunately is and always has been French. It is (re-) titled "Belgium's biggest resurgance since Tintin: Destination Moon":

The tiny kingdom of Belgium has for centuries produced many memorable, distinctive and often unique beer styles. One of the very last nations to succumb to the ubiquitous allure of lagers, Belgian beer has always been a bit special. Their artisan brewers feel free to use ancient techniques long abandoned by other producers, never hesitate to throw in ingredients which would petrify mainstream brewers and think nothing of lifting the strength of their beers by a couple of percent.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

(Belated) Beer Haiku Friday and Beer, Civilisation and Politics Explained

There is over a week to go but planning is already underway for Superbowl Monday. Details are yet to be worked out but it involves American craft beer and cheese burgers. To celebrate, today's Beer Haiku is called "Superbowl Traditions":

Beer, food, and football
Surrounded by family
Watching commercials

At the Malthouse Blog, the latest post explains why beer created civilisation which in turn created politics, then asks every political leader in New Zealand for their favourite and gets a 100% response rate, the favoured beers of our political elite are then revealed in a world exclusive. It is called "Beer, Civilisation and Politics":

Last year, this blog literally stumbled over a media report on a British website claiming that Prime Minister John Key’s favourite beer was Bath Gem, a tasty ale from Bristol. Always thirsty for the truth, we decided to test this theory and directly ask the Prime Minister for his favourite beer. In the interests of balance and impartiality, the same question was put to the leaders of every political party currently represented in the New Zealand Parliament. They all provided answers and these are reproduced in full below.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday, a New Decade of Quality Beer and The Great Debate: Mild versus Wild

It's summer - which means rain in Wellington and lightning strikes in Northland, Auckland, Southland, Otago and Dunedin. Here is a beer haiku for all those who have lost power - or are about to - "Power Outage":

With the power out
I grab a beer from the fridge
And light a candle

Blogging at the Malthouse site has well and truly resumed with two new posts up already. The first covers my top ten Kiwi beer of 2009 and makes three predictions about the future of beer. It is titled "To a Decade of Quality Beer":

Having looked back longingly at 2009, it is time to look forward eagerly to 2010 and make some bold prediction for the rest of summer. Gazing into my crystal ball (well, actually it is a limited-edition Malthouse glass proposing ‘Cheers For 2010’ filled with Three Boys Golden Ale but the effect is quite similar), I foresee new levels of popularity for cider, wheat beers and pales ales (particularly those in the American style).

Next, a summary of the big debate in world beer, have extreme beers had their day, have Tactical Nuclear Penguins been spotted in New Zealand, Hallertau beers and Burns Nicht this Monday. With apologies to Bear Grylls, the post is titled "Mild vs Wild":

Sometimes you really want a beer that makes you stop and simply go ‘wow’ - you want a real eye opener, a conversation piece, a beer that you will always remember even though you only ever had a single glass. Lagunitas’ marvellously bouncy Hop Stoopid had this effect on my friend Dean late last year. Other times, however, there is a need for a beer that has character and flavour but which accompanies rather than dominates the conversation - a beer which can facilitate a long chat solving the world’s problems or last through a big sporting event.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Beer with Sax Appeal

For many, it is the last day of work for the year. This Haiku - Stolen Happy Hour - may sum up how some of you are feeling:

The meeting drags on
The boss steals more and more time
I could be drinking

In the last Malthouse blog of the year, we meet Aussie musician Adam Page and learn of his love for craft beers and seamlessly mixing classic Christmas carols with Rage Against the Machine. It is called "Beer with Sax Appeal":

Surrounded by a miasma of hop fumes and his trademark bushy beard (which he is going to grow out because “bigger beards are just cooler”), Adam lists his Kiwi beers of choice. He loves Tuatara, Three Boys IPA (“oh hello, it’s nice! Tuatara IPA sales go up when I’m in town”), Renaissance IIPA (“far out, it’s a classic”), Three Boys Oyster Stout (though he takes it personally that the seasons have changed which deprives him of this beer during his current visit) and Epic Armageddon (“unbelievable – like Luke backed up a cement truck full of hops and tipped them into my mouth”).

Glass Tips - Malthouse and Beer Haiku Daily

Beer Haiku Friday and A Long Hard Dispassionate Look At the Craft Beer Scene

Today's Beer Haiku is called "A Frickin Miracle" and sums up the Friday mindset for many nicely:

He left for the bar
At exactly 5 o’clock
Against all the odds

In the latest Malthouse blog, I debate revolution versus evolution, quote Mao, Lloyd George and Michael Jackson, mix metaphors, present a thought-provoking piece from a Kiwi working in a US craft brewery and identify one of my beer finds of the year. It is titled simply "A Long Hard Dispassionate Look at the Craft Beer Scene"

the same debate rages today around lifting beer appreciation. Should elevating a drinker from Tui quaffer to Tuatara connoisseur take a single big sip or a thousand little tastes? The simple fact is that few Heineken fans or Steinlager followers or Radler lovers are going to be instantly converted to a bottle-conditioned American Pale Ale, a wild-fermented sour raspberry beer or a 32% double barrelled imperial stout which has spent three weeks at -20 degrees to help increase its alcoholic strength. * These drinkers need be encouraged and supported to work up to better beers step by step.

Glass Tip - Those wonderful chaps at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine folks at the Malthouse site

Beer Haiku Friday and Springing into a Summer of Mayhem

Today's highly anticipated Beer Haiku is a simple yet touching ode to the wonders of brewing. It is called "Together":

Put them together
Oh the wonders they contain
Malt yeast hops water

From the Malthouse blog, this post looks at the weather, a summer beer festival, a Rennaissance tasting, the temporary reappearance of one of my favourite beers of all time, new beers from the Yeastie Boys and 8 Wired plus the return of Mayhem and my beer nemesis is back in town. It is titled "Spring into a Summer of Mayhem":

It is officially Day Two of summer in Wellington and is fair to say that the weather so far has been consistent. Unfortunately, it has been consistently horrible with plenty of rain, strong winds and low temperatures. Anyone would think there was a cricket test scheduled for tomorrow or something. Even some of my green-tinged acquaintances have indicated that a little global warming wouldn’t go amiss at the moment while some of my less charitable friends have accused Al Gore of stealing summer.

Glass Tips - Those hearty froth blowers at Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Mayhem Achieved, Boredom Relieved

From Beer Haiku Daily, a wonderful poem about a wonderful beer. It is called "Duvel":

Billowy white cloud
Looms over splendid sunshine
The Devil smiles

From the Malthouse Blog, this week's post covers dictionaries, imps, hops, mayhem, more hops, brewing philosophies, an inability to do subtle, more hops again, Saint Andrews Day and... free whisky? It is all in "Mayhem Achieved, Boredom Relieved":

In a revelation that ranks right up there with ‘sun rises in the morning’ and ‘Jacob Oram is injured’, Luke Nicholas confesses “I love flavours, especially hops. Subtlety isn’t something I am good at. I like to turn up the flavours.” Various entrepreneurs should consider manufacturing a range of “subtlety isn’t something I am good at” t-shirts. I would certainly buy one.

Glass Tips - Those excellent dudes at Beer Haiku Daily and the fine fellows at Malthouse dot com

Beer Haiku Friday and Fizzy Yellow Beer Drinking Ninnies

A clever little poem for today called "The Perfect Hobby":

The perfect hobby
For people that like to clean
Must be homebrewing

Over at the Malthouse blog, my latest post covers the worst beer slogan in the world, Bud Light, geat American craft beers, a beer which gets in your face, a beer which gets 90 additions of hops and a bear fighting a lion. It is called "‘Fizzy yellow beer drinking ninnies’ need not read on":

The Dogfish Head crew make “off-centred beers for off-centred people” and Malthouse is now offering their 60 Minute and 90 Minute ales. The 60 Minute IPA is continuously hopped. There are over 60 hop additions during the sixty minute boil – a hint, perhaps, about the name. Terrifyingly, they describe this 6%, 60 IBU hop-rocket as a “session” IPA.

Which it actually is when compared to the Dogfish Head 90 Minute Imperial Pale Ale. The brewers here use both the continuous hopping process and a device they call “Me so Hoppy” (basically an inert gas fired closed loop dry hopping system – watch the video below) to create this 9% 90 IBU beast of a beer. There is also an even bigger 120 Minute ale out there but it is unclear whether it can safely travel across international waters without spontaneous hop explosions.

Glass Tips - Those wonderful tipplers at Beer Haiku Daily and the Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday followed by Blog, Tweet, Repeat

In honour of Veterans Day, Beer Haiku Daily posted "Gratitude":

Many raised glasses
Greeted the young veterans
Entering the bar

There is something quite post-modern about blogging and tweeting about blogging and tweeting. This week's Malthouse blog covers the beer industry using social media, how I personally determine when technology has gone mainstream, an exclusive guest commentary from British writer Melissa Cole, scientific proof most messages on Twitter are pointless, Ashton Kutcher (also on Twitter and pointless) and the debut of @malthousewizard and his free beer. It is all in "Blog, Tweet, Repeat":

British beer writer Melissa Cole is the author of the popular and entertaining blog ‘Taking the beard out of beer’. She is a Member of the British Guild of Beer Writers and has been described as “the thinking man’s drinking crumpet”. *

* Well, she has now.

Glass Tips - Our patriotic chums at Beer Haiku Daily and that Handsome Scotsman at Malthouse

Beer Haiku Friday and Tasting at the Backbencher

Beer Haiku Friday exposes the best way to watch the fireworks with a poem called, unsurprisingly, "Fireworks":

at my secret spot
with a wagon full of beer
watching fireworks

The October Backbencher beer tasting had the theme "Best of Brew NZ":

The October Backbencher beer tasting had a “Best of Brew NZ” theme. A number of senior MPs were spotted in the immediate vicinity though they were probably present for the filming of “Backbenchers” (TVNZ 7) rather than the beer. There were over 370 entries in this year’s Brew NZ Beer Awards and only 23% of them received medals. This month’s selection showcased a range of medal winning beers accompanied by some fine food matches from the kitchen.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Backbencher

Beer Haiku Monday and the People's Blog Part Deux

While the seasons are wrong for this hemisphere, the poem still resonates. It is called "Winterizing":

Taking the sails down
could go quicker without beer
but what fun is that

Over at Malthouse blog, the popular People's blog returns with two more guest columnists and some considered reflections on bloggers and blogging. It is titled "The People's Blog Part Deux":

Ten years later, even hardened net geeks are giving up on trying to figure out how many blogs there really are. The answer is well over 100 million, almost certainly a lot, lot more. Blogging is not just for pyjama-clad Generation Xer’s who live in their parents basement anymore (though they are certainly still well represented on-line.) Now, rock stars blog. Beer writers blog. Businesses blog. Scientists blog. Even politicians blog.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and Malthouse Blog

Beer Haiku Friday and Attaining Beervana

Today's Beer Haiku Friday sums up most art exhibitions for me. To mangle a Homer Simpson quote, I like paintings to look like the things they are supposed to look like. Here is "Abstract Art":

An art opening
Where beer is the only thing
Understandable

From the Wellingtonian newspaper, my column reviewing the success of Beervana 2009:

The queue snaked from the front door of the Town Hall around the corner and right across Civic Square. Hundreds of people waited anxiously to hand in their tickets and receive a canary yellow bracelet. They were not there to see a politician speak or a rock band play, they were literally there for the beer.

Glass Tips - Beer Haiku Daily and The Wellingtonian newspaper

Beer Haiku Friday and the New Yawk beer scene

Sometimes you just find the perfect Beer Haiku. In November, I'm doing a wedding speech so this poem, "Advice for the Best Man", was timely:

A good rule of thumb:
When they try to tackle you
Your toast is finished

From the New York Times, Eric Asimov has a considered look at the highs and lows of the New York beer scene. His article is called "A beer please, and a (Good) Menu":

Great beer abounds today in New York, and the choices keep getting better. Nowadays, almost every neighborhood bar has at least a few craft beers. The better beer bars offer an expanded selection, scouring the world for unknown brewers and new beers. And the mark of a top-flight spot is one or two cask beers, served unpasteurized and unfiltered with natural carbonation, rather than from a pressurized keg.

Yet an imbalance exists that threatens to undercut the pleasure to be found in a perfectly drawn pint. While aficionados yearn to have beer taken as seriously as wine, too often beer is presented in a context that diminishes the respect it deserves.

Glass Tip - Beer Haiku Daily for the poem and Mr Martin Bosley for the article

Beer Haiku Friday and the Nanny State

Today's Beer Haiku is a salutory lesson for Friday nights. It is called "Tragic":

Cocktail temptation
Lures him from his faithful beer
A tragic mistake

The latest Malthouse blog takes a look at Geoffrey Palmer, Maurice Bennett, Brew Dog, an 18.2% beer, a 1.1% beer, alcohol prices and Townshend No.9. It is called "Who's Your Nanny?":

As New Zealand inches towards a hospitality environment regulated by the whim and fancy of Sir Geoffrey Palmer, it is worth considering the situation in the United Kingdom which, if anything, might be even worse.

Here, Maurice Bennett Esq, a noted man around town (unlike Sir Geoffrey), got in the most minor of trouble a few years back for his advert which dared to insinuate that a beer called “Bennett’s Strong” was, in fact, quite strong. The ‘offending’ ad was quietly pulled.

Glass Tip - Those excellent chaps at Beer Haiku Daily